Manic Monday

Manic Monday: a little manic on Monday. free to be Me the rest of the week.

Okay, so I am a little manic on Mondays.

For years, I thought if I was only smarter, more systematic, that if I created enough structure and organization in my life, I could...

• keep my house clean
• get all my kid's school projects, forms, applications, etc. in on time
• pay my bills regularly
• keep my house filled with groceries
• have a meal/menu plan
• save money with coupons
• stick with an exercise routine
• register my car
• call the insurance company
• live on a budget

then I would be free to...

• play with my kids
• sit and have coffee or a glass of wine with my husband
• write a book
• get a Master's degree
• start my own business
• pick up a hobby
• run a playshop
• meet up with friends for lunch
• host a holiday dinner party

Being a Real Grown-up in Real Life has way too many details for me. Not only are those "have to's" necessary but they are also extraordinarily boring to me. I would wake up every day with this long list of things I hated doing and the list never ended. So, I never was free to move onto the list of dreams. And that =depression for this Jenny.

One day, I decided to start dreaming. In spite of the dozens of books I have on Organizing my Real Life, I had to acknowledge who I really am and THAT woman is not me. I moved on to the part of my life that was LIFE to me. So I went back to school, I met with the other Jenny to work on Unwritten Travels, I started writing a blog. In the mean time, I discovered an exercise that is now one of my favorite things about my life, I tossed a load of laundry in here or there (helped that this was the year my kids and hubby were old enough to wash their own clothes) , the dishes kept getting clean and my children somehow got fed.

Let me tell you, it is fun to be me. So fun, in fact, I lost all sense of structure in my life. I continued to miss due dates on bills, drove around with expired tags for a couple of months, never got the kids signed up for sports in time, forgot to schedule that dental cleaning, and my family ate out all of the time.

That's when being me doesn't feel so fun. It feels like I am trying to do what I want to do while being haunted by the unwritten list of what I need to do. Thus explained my stress, anxiety, and overall crankiness.

Enter Manic Monday. One day. One hour (sometimes as many as 3) dedicated to getting things done. Not because I love making a list or checking things off. Not because having everything in order brings me a deep feeling of contentment. But because I need to be free to live my LIFE.

So, here I am. Looking another Manic Monday in the face. Can I tell you how much I dread this? I have to walk smack into the middle of my stress and anxiety and not walk out of it until at least one of those daunting tasks is complete.

Today I will:

• schedule the dr. appointment to get Avery's stitches taken out
• organize child care for my kiddos when I am in training next week
• schedule my hair appointment

What? Those things don't seem daunting to you? Well, they don't seem so scary to me anymore either. That is the magic of Manic Monday.